Daddy's Influence ;)

This is just too funny NOT to write about!

We're trying to teach Gavin to tell us either when he has to poopy so we can offer the potty or when he already has poopied so we can change his diaper as soon as possible. Neither is going so well for some reason. It seems like he's embarrassed to talk about poopy at all.

Anyway, I just smelled his funky hiney from across the room, so I took him to the changing table to change his diaper. Since it was (presumably) there for a while, the massive poo was smeared throughout his diaper. I asked him, "Why didn't you tell me you went poopy?" He had no response and began sucking his thumb. Then, as I was using the 6th wipe to get it all off of him, I said, "you even have poopy on your pee-pee." He pulled out his thumb and said, "got poopy on my balls!" OMG! I couldn't help laughing out loud at him. I've never talked to him about his balls, so it had to com from his daddy. *eyes rolling* It must be a boy thing... :)

I Love You Just As Much

Isn't it funny how differently you do things with your second child? With Gavin, I boiled cups, bottles, toys, etc. I vacuumed several times a day because I didn't want dog hair to get all over him. We steam cleaned the carpet every month or two. And I also felt like I held Gavin constantly. My poor Colin, on the other hand. If you only knew what was going on, you'd feel totally neglected. Boil? No, Sweetie...the dishwasher is just fine. And your toys? Unless there's gunk on them after they hit the floor, I just wipe them on my shirt and give them back. Your Mom-mom always said, "you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die." We have hardwood floors now, so I only vacuum the bedrooms about once a week. I swiffer the wood floors when the dog hair starts to accumulate in little piles. Even though you may have dog hair on your jammies, I promise, I pick them out of your mouth as soon as I see them. I'm sorry I don't hold you as much as I held Gavin. Unfortunately, a lot of times when I'm holding you, Gavin needs my help with something and I have to put you down. Or worse, Gavin wants to be held too. I'm 35 years old and my back just can't take 55 lbs. of kids at once. It can barely manage all 20 lbs. 7 oz. of you. I see you looking back at me from the Jumperoo right now. You're smiling and playing with its toys and you just started jumping and laughing out loud. :) You don't LOOK neglected. You are such a happy, loving, adorable, well-behaved, and sweet baby and Daddy, Gavin, and I are so glad you're here. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, even though your baby book is essentially blank (I still plan to get to that!), I love you just as much!

A Little Piece of Wood

This morning, Gavin hit another milestone, if you can call it that. His first splinter. Poor guy. We went to the park yesterday with some mommy friends and their kids and he must have gotten it while playing on the picnic tables. Daddy got home from work this morning and we were tucking him in (something that Gavin loves to do) and he said that his "hand hut" (hurt). I looked and in the fleshy part of his palm just below his pointer finger, there was about a 2 mm splinter completely under the skin. It was a little red and I knew it would bother him if I tried to let it "work it's way out." It was a two-man job, so Andy got out of bed and we went into the bathroom. With a needle in hand, Daddy went to work on the splinter while I held, hugged, and restrained my kicking and crying 2 1/2 year old. That wasn't working as well as we'd hoped, so we had to lay him on the bed. I pinned him down and restrained his arm and Andy went at the splinter with the pin and tweezers. He screamed and cried and the whole time (which seemed longer than it really was) I told him what a good and brave boy he was being. :(

After Andy got the splinter out, Gavin immediately stopped crying and looked at it with interest. Daddy explained that this was the "little piece of wood" that was stuck in his hand. Andy then tried to put a Diego band aid on his boo-boo, but he wouldn't let Daddy near his hand. He did tell Daddy "tee-ko" (thank-you) for fixing his hand. Then he let me put the band aid on. :)

Teephers

Well, my Colin officially has 2 teeth. He cut the first one on the 18th. That was the day he was miserable for Andy while I was at work. Andy had worked the night before and was up for about 36 hours while caring for the (sick) boys during the last 14. Colin wasn't feeling well, but had become inconsolable. Turns out, the little guy cut his first tooth. Go, Colin! He always reaches milestones when I'm at work. Isn't the benefit of being a SAHM supposed to be that I'M the one to witness the milestones??? He rolled over for the first time for daddy while I was grocery shopping. :( Anyway, he cut his second tooth today. They are so cute. The two middle bottom teeth are poking out about 1 mm each. I'm just waiting for him to bite me with them, but it hasn't happened yet. So, a dose of tylenol before bed and I'm hoping he'll sleep through the night.

So why am I not in bed myself, taking advantage of the quiet that is two sleeping boys??? I'm reading archive posts from my new favorite blog. The Frugal Zeitgeist. I love reading her posts. She's like an updated, less rural version of Amy Dacyczyn, who wrote The Complete Tightwad Gazette...my Bible. I'm only up to July of 2007, but I find her posts to be very empowering. It is frugality which afforded us the opportunity to pay off our bills, have kids, allow me to be a SAHM, and buy a wonderful new home to grow into for years to come. Now, reading this blog is reminding me that I really need to buckle down and use my frugality to step up our retirement and college fund savings. We also need to beef up our safety net savings account since moving into the new house. I have a meeting with my financial advisor next week. Stuart Cohen is from NJ and is my parents and my sister's financial advisor. He has clients in NJ, SC, and FL and offered to stop by our home in NC once a year as long as we didn't mind doing any other business with him by fax or phone. My mother and sister both swore by him, so he has been our advisor for the past 4 years or so. Meeting with him is always something I look forward to...finding out if we're still on track with our goals. I'll let you know how it goes. ;)

Ahhhh....

Well, today started out crappy. Both of the kids are sick and Colin was up every couple of hours, coughing, crying, and eating. Andy worked last night and was in bed asleep when I decided to get up with Colin at 0700. I was so happy that Gavin slept until 0830. Then I realized that Missy (our dog) was having issues. Suffice it to say that her butt hurt. It was way more gross than that...but anyway. I called the vet and they said that I could bring her in and drop her off and they'd see her when they had an open slot. Unfortunately, our vet is now 25 minutes from our new house. They closed at noon and it was already 0900. I was in PJ's and hadn't showered in days (if you're a mom, you understand.) Plus, it was only 33 degrees outside and I had two sick boys. They told me that if I let it go, it could get worse for Missy and way more costly for me. So, as much as I hated to do it, I woke up Andy. He had to work tonight, but I was just totally overwhelmed. I told him what was going on and he was so great about it. He offered to take Missy to the vet and drop her off. We're boarding her there until Monday while they figure out what's wrong with her and treat her. I got to stay home with my two sick and cranky boys. Andy got off easy.

Gavin had several melt-downs today. I think he got used to being spoiled while he was sick and now that he's got some energy back, it's just not going to fly. Colin was so pitiful...cranky, crying, and wanting to be held the whole day, poor thing. Amazingly, they took naps at the same time for TWO HOURS! That has never happened before. While they slept, I was able to make baby food (sweet potatoes, pears, and corn), put all of the 2009 files in a file box, and file the pile of 2010 paperwork that had started to accumulate while I was trying to find time to organize my filing cabinets. Then my awesome kids were both bathed and in bed by 2030. So I rewarded myself for my day's accomplishments with a long, hot bath in the spa tub with a glass of red wine. I feel so great and relaxed right now. I can't believe I was actually able to pencil in some "me" time.

Once I got out of the tub and ready for bed, I got onto the computer and lost track of time while checking WilmingtonMommies and facebook for the 8975934757th time today. I also started to research the how to efficiently use coupons for stockpiling during sales and double or triple coupon specials. Now I need to start a large coupon stash. If you have any access to coupons, but don't use them, please let me know. I'd love for you to mail them to me. :) Anyway...now I'm noticing that its almost 2330. Where did the time go? I really hope the boys both sleep all night. I'm off to bed. Good night, Moon!

So Hard, But So Worth It

It's Saturday again. It's been a week since Gavin got sick. Gavin is feeling a lot better, but he's still coughing, sneezing, and draining yellowish green. Pretty gross, I know, but at least he no longer has a fever and is acting normally and has been sleeping straight through for the last couple of nights. Of course, right as Gavin started getting better, Colin got sick. He's got watery eyes, sneezing with a constantly runny nose, a horrible cough and rattling when breathing, and an intermittent fever. Poor thing has been awake at night coughing for the last 3 nights.

It's horrible to watch my kids feel so badly and not be able to make them feel better. I haven't slept in a week because at least one kid has been sick at night every night. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. It's so hard to be a SAHM, but I can't help wondering...how do working moms deal with this? My kids don't go to daycare and there's always a parent home to watch them. If we both worked and they were in daycare, we'd have to take time off every time they got sick, which, I assume, would be more frequently if they were in school. This is only Colin's first illness and Gavin's second (in 2 1/2 years...how awesome is that?) We'd still be up all night taking care of the boys, but then one of us would have to go to work with no sleep. I haven't showered in a couple of days and I'm still in pajamas, but at least I don't have anywhere to be. I'm sitting on the couch with my sick toddler next to me watching "Thomas", my sick infant in one arm, and I'm typing with the other.

As hard as it is being a SAHM, it is a blessing as well. I feel so lucky (and privileged) to be able to provide my children with the same type of childhood that I had growing up. I get to give them all the things my mother gave to me. Even though there are days I want to pull my hair out, I realize that I am fortunate just to have the option to stay home...by choice. Not everyone is so lucky.

Some of the things I love about Gavin...

- He calls his daddy "Nanny", even though he can say his "d's" now. When I try to prompt him by saying "d...d...daddy," he says "d...d...nanny."

- He runs around the house on his tippy toes...it's so cute! His cousin, Lexi, used to do the same thing. :)

- He calls his baby brother "Colie."

- When he calls his doggie, Missy, he says, "Miss-ay!" at the top of his lungs.

- His bedtime routine (with me) consists of changing into a "night-night" diaper, he pushes the play button on his CD player to play his lullaby CD, then he asks to "slow dance Mommy." I told him once that I was slow dancing with him just like I would on his wedding day...then I immediately started crying.

- If Gavin doesn't like when I'm (or anyone) is doing something, he'll say, "No-no, Mommy" and do his mad face.

- His facial expressions are exactly like mine...even if nothing else about him is.

- He is a budding artist and loves to do crafts and paint.

- He is so darn cute in his footie pajamas!

- He calls the heat and a/c registers "heat holes" and the heat pump intakes are the "big heat holes."

- He knows that Daddy flies in a helicopter. And when he says helicopter, it sounds like "hi-da-ho."

- His favorite characters right now are Lightning McQueen (Keen), Tow-Mater (Tow Mater), Thomas the Tank (Thomas), Curious George (George), and Mickey Mouse (Mi-he Mouse.) And he loves the Geotrax cartoons.

- The last thing he says to me every night is "Night-night, Mommy. Love you, Mommy."

What Was I Thinking?

Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) would be relaxing. Where did I pick up this little tidbit of inaccurate information? I mean, I knew it would be tough to keep up with 2 kids, keep up with the household, and work part-time, but I thought since it would be on my terms, I'd be able to pencil in some "me" time. Boy, was I wrong! I've been doing better at juggling the boys and all of their needs, but the house has taken a back seat, that's for sure. But then yesterday slapped me in the face.

I had to work my one day/week, which is usually a welcome break from the SAHM routine. I woke up at 0430 and took a shower. I never thought I'd appreciate a shower as much as I do now that I don't always get a chance to take one when I want. Right as I was getting ready to leave for work at 0525, Gavin woke up crying and calling for me. I went in and got him and put him in bed with Daddy. Little did I know, he was getting sick. I went to work, only ran 2 calls, and had a great day with my friends. But then, it was time to come home. I got home at 1830, which was a blessing since I very rarely get off from work on time, only to find my poor 2 year old was sick with a head cold and a fever all day. He ate very little dinner and looked like he couldn't hold his eyes open, so Daddy gave him a bath and tried to put him to bed. Well, THAT didn't work. As it turned out, Andy slept in the spare bedroom and Gavin slept in bed with me. He was up at least every 2 hours and his crying woke up Colin. By 0900 this morning, I had 2 boys in bed with me, neither of whom were my husband, I had gotten MAYBE 2 hours of sleep total, and I was exhausted. I actually texted Andy in the other room with "Help, no sleep." He came in and got the kids, and let me sleep for 2 hours. It was very refreshing and just what I needed. I then washed the sheets and we made the bed just in time for Andy to take a nap before going into Airlink for night shift.

I put Gavin down for a nap, but that didn't happen. I gave him tylenol, a decongestant, and laid him on the couch hoping that he'd sleep there. Unfortunately for me, the tylenol kicked in and he got his second wind. Now, it's almost 1800 and I'm enjoying a moment of silence while Gavin watches "Cars" (again) and Colin plays on his play mat. The house is a mess and I have no idea what I'm making for dinner. Whoever thinks that SAHM's sit on their butts all day watching TV and eating bon-bons is DEAD WRONG.

My Boys

I had promised Andy that we would wait a year before we would try to have children. Of course, from the moment we were married, all I wanted was to get pregnant. We had paid for our wedding in cash and we were working on paying off all of our bills. I had calculated that if we paid off our credit card and both cars, I would be able to be a stay-at-home mom. I had figured that it would take about a year to do so. But then, we found out that our friends were pregnant. I was SO happy for David and Kelly, but so insanely jealous at the same time. Andy’s reaction was, “Don’t touch Kelly. It might be contagious!” Needless to say, that comment upset me and sparked a debate…and Andy slept on the couch that night. It wasn’t too long after that when Andy came to me to talk. He had just turned 30 and he had a change of heart. He said that he felt like now that he was 30, he was ready to grow up and let go of his childhood. Nothing could have made me happier and I stopped taking the pill that night! It took 3 months of trying, but on December 21, 2006, I went to the OB/GYN for what I thought was a UTI and found out that I was pregnant!!! It was the best Christmas present I could have gotten!

I kept a pregnancy journal during my pregnancies and I hope to post them here later. At 36 weeks and 2 days gestation, my water broke and I was subsequently induced. Gavin was born on August 6, 2007 at 5:30. He was 7 lbx. 14 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. He has brought me so much joy and I regret not having started a journal at that time to keep a record of his infancy. I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks and loved being home with him. It broke my heart to go back to work on October 31, 2007. At that point, we had our credit card and one of our vehicles paid off. We had decided that, at that time, I would need to work full-time at nurse pay and Andy would go part-time. Andy had interviewed and oriented for a 1/2 EMS, 1/2 Vitalink position that never materialized, but he was able to go PRN at Vitalink. This way, we made enough money to pay the bills and to continue to pay off the van, and we wouldn’t have to pay for daycare. It only took about 3 months to pay off the van and I quickly decided that I wanted to be the stay-home parent. Andy agreed! I approached my director and chief about a 0.1 part-time (PRN) position. Up to that point, no one had been PRN at Airlink/Vitalink without having a full-time position elsewhere in the hospital, so they had to create a position for me. It took about 2 more months, but I finally went PRN and Andy took a full-time position with Vitalink. I think that the best thing that ever happened was Andy experiencing what it was like being the stay-home parent. Now he totally understands and appreciates how hard it is to raise the kids and be at home.

I really enjoyed staying home. I breast fed and made my own baby food. I joined a mommies group and went to playdates. I just loved being a mommy…so much that we planned to try to get pregnant again when Gavin was a year old. To our surprise, the moment I stopped breastfeeding Gavin, at around 10 1/2 months old, I got pregnant again without even trying. I surprised Andy when he got home from work. Gavin was wearing a t-shirt that said, “I’m going to be a big brother.” I wasn’t sure exactly how Andy would react since we hadn’t planned to get pregnant that soon, but his mouth dropped open and his eyes got teary. He smiled and said, “You’re pregnant? Awesome!”

We would have been due on March 15, 2009, but on 08/08/08, the day of our first ultrasound, we found out that the pregnancy had resulted in a blighted ovum. There was a sac, a placenta, but no baby. I was devastated, to say the least. I had a D&C a week later. We tried again for 2 months without success and I was getting really depressed. Before the miscarriage, I had lost down to 149 lbs. I gained 10 pounds while I was pregnant and gained 13 more pounds after the miscarriage, so I was up to 172. We had originally planned to go to Key Largo in October as a “babymoon”, but now, I was a fat, depressed slob who didn’t even want to be seen in a bathing suit. Well, I was able to relax, get happy, and enjoy myself on vacation and, happily, came home pregnant! I found out on November 1, 2008. I was so excited and so scared. Scared to death for the first 20 weeks or so. But on July 7, 2009, at 39 weeks gestation, Colin was born by c-section at 10:02 am. He was 10 lbs. 4 oz. and 22 inches long. WOW, what a big boy! Now, when I think back to my second pregnancy, since there was a pregnancy but no baby, I feel like it was Colin trying to get here, but he just misfired. From the moment I found out we had lost him, I did everything in my power to get him back. And now he’s finally here and almost 6 months old.

My boys are my world. Andy, Gavin, and Colin are the most important people in my life and I live everyday for them.

Making a Life in Wilmington

Once Andy and I moved to Wilmington, we quickly made great friends at work. I worked full-time at Airlink and Vitalink transporting critically ill patients by ground and air from scenes and outlying hospitals to New Hanover Regional Medical Center; a level 2 trauma center. Andy worked full-time at NHREMS doing EMS in New Hanover County based out of NHRMC.

Both of our families lived so far away. All of my family, including my parents, sister and her family, brother, and grandmother lived in New Jersey. Andy parents lived in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and his brother, sister, and their families lived in Florida. Having no family in NC, we quickly created our own in Wilmington. Unfortunately, we were working opposite shifts in the beginning and didn’t get to see much of each other. During this time, we added a member to our household. We adopted a Great Dane named Lizzie from the Mid-Atlantic Great Dane Rescue. She quickly became our second fur-baby and Andy’s pride and joy. It took almost a year before we were able to get on the same shift and really start living our lives together.

We got engaged in the summer of 2005. We had just gotten our back yard landscaped. And we were getting ready to leave for Palm Coast, Florida the next morning to visit Andy’s family. Andy had gone out on an errand…I can’t remember what. He was taking a long time. Unbeknownst to me, he was sitting in the Toys-R-Us parking lot. He had bought a huge toy diamond ring and was calling my parents’ house. He has planned to ask me in front of his family, but had decided to do it that night. When he called, my mom answered and said that my dad was on his way home from the Junk Yard and wouldn’t be home for about 30-45 minutes. Of course, my mom knew right away why he wanted to talk to my dad, but didn’t say anything to him. So Andy waited in the parking lot for my dad to call back. When my dad walked in from work, my mom made him call Andy right away. He asked Daddy for his permission to ask me to marry him. He gave his permission (something about being proud to have him as a son-in-law and also being the only one to ask his permission :) ) and Andy headed home.

With beer in hand, he met me in our back yard and we sat and enjoyed the new grass, plants, and patio. We were standing petting Lizzie and he knelt down to pet her head. Lizzie walked away, but Andy stayed on his knee. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a little black box. He asked me to marry him and handed me the box. I started tearing up and opened the box only to find the toy ring. I looked at him and asked “is this a joke?” He said “No, I wanted you to be able to pick out your own ring.” I said “YES!!!” and then quickly added…”if we leave now, we can make it to the mall before it closes.” We bought my ring that night and I wouldn’t even let them size it right away because I wanted to wear it to Florida. It was (and is) so beautiful!

We planned our wedding for April 21, 2006. My partner and best friend, Leslie, helped me plan every detail while at Airlink on night shift. We planned a weekend getaway for our families. Thursday, April 20th was our rehearsal dinner at Bluewater in Wrightsville Beach on the Intracoastal Waterway. It was a beautiful view and an awesome dinner with family and friends. Andy slept at the house with his brother and Dave Alman. I stayed at the Hampton Inn & Suites in Wrightsville Beach with Leslie and Breony in the honeymoon suite. My whole family stayed in the hotel. Our wedding was April 21st at the Scott’s Hill Marina in Pender County on the Intracoastal Waterway. It was a beautiful, short, and sweet ceremony on the deck of the marina and the reception was held inside with a breath-taking view of the water. Aside from the fact that my limo broke down on the way to the ceremony (I arrived at my wedding in a Hyundai!), the entire day was perfect! April 21, 2006…the day I became Mrs. Andrew E. Wright. Could life get any better? I had no idea how much better…

Welcome to 2010

It is now 4 days into the year 2010. A new year; a new decade. So much has changed for me over the last decade. In the year 2000, my name was Rebecca Ann Morana and I was married to Eric and living in Greenville, NC. I was 25 years old and working as a CCU nurse at Pitt County Memorial Hospital. In 2001, I became a traveling nurse and moved to New Hampshire with Eric. I worked in the CCU at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and lived in a very cool, old, large house in Canaan, NH. While living in NH, the world also changed. Not only did my little sister get married on Sept. 15, 2001, but the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center were terrorized on Sept. 11, 2001. That is a day that my generation will never forget.

After my 3 months in NH, we got home-sick for NC. I took a travel assignment in Raleigh at WakeMed doing critical care transport nursing with Wake Mobile. Shortly after buying a home in Clayton, Eric and I separated and I moved to Garner. During the next year, I remained full-time at Wake Mobile after my travel assignment was over. I also became an EMT and worked part-time at Nash General Hospital in the ER, Garner EMS at the Walnut Creek concerts, and also volunteered at Cary EMS. I was dating someone else, but became friends with Andy Wright, a paramedic who worked full-time at Garner EMS and part-time at Cary EMS, Wake County EMS, and Wake Mobile. After breaking up with my boyfriend somewhere around January 2003 and moving into an apartment in Garner, (my first apartment totally by myself), Andy began asking me to hang out with him. At first, I didn’t take him up on the offer for several months. I was taking a break from dating and trying to figure out exactly who I was and what I wanted. It was a very emotional time for me. I was very lonely and in NC by myself without family. I adopted a 1 year old lab/pit bull mix named Missy from the Wake County SPCA for a companion. She quickly became my baby.

I had been talking by phone, texting, and IM’ing Andy during this time. One day in Early April 2003, he told me that he and his friend Bailey were talking about moving to California. Although I had not wanted a relationship, this really upset me because he had become a really great friend to me. That is the moment that I realized I wanted to go on a date with him. I finally said “yes” when he asked me out, and on April 13, 2003, we went on our first date. We went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant in Fuquay-Varina. We talked all night and I felt so comfortable with him. At last, the “nice guy” that I had been friends with became my boy-friend. Once we had dated for a couple of months, I realized that we were getting “serious” and decided to finally go ahead and file for a divorce from Eric. After about 3 months of dating, Andy’s lease was up on the house that he, Bailey, and Brian were renting. Brian and Bailey were planning to move away, so Andy was looking for a place to live. I had 2 months left on my lease at Heather Park. I had started to look for a new place because I hated apartment life. Since Andy grew up in Raleigh, he was trying to help me find a house I could afford to rent. Any place I could find was in a shady area and he didn’t want me to live in an unsafe area. This is when Andy suggested (or was it me?) that we move in together “because it make financial sense.” At least, that’s what he told everyone. I told everyone that I was moving in with my boyfriend.

It was in July 2003 that we moved into a house in Garner’s EMS district, but it had a Raleigh mailing address. 108 Windgate Ct. We lived there for 9 months. While we were there, our relationship grew strong. I was still working at Wake Mobile doing ground transport, but I was very interested in flying on a medical helicopter. Duke Lifeflight was offering a ride along to EMT’s in Wake County, so I signed up. Once arriving at Duke, a flight nurse name Damian recognized me from Wake Mobile and started trying to recruit me. On my fly along day, I flew 2 calls; a post V-fib arrest and a pediatric trauma. I fell in love with flying immediately. I applied at Lifeflight and got an interview shortly after. The interview went great and they offered me ground positions with the promise of advancing to flight when it was my turn. Unfortunately, the only spots they offered were in Lumberton and Alamance and I was just not willing to drive that far or move to those areas. So instead, I stayed at Wake Mobile and applied to Airlink in Wilmington, NC. This is a beach town that Andy and I both loved to visit. I interviewed and got an offer which included flying immediately after my orientation. Andy interviewed with EMS shortly after and we both accepted positions. We bought our first house at 4705 Split Rail Drive at the end of April and started work the first week of May 2004. This is how we came to live in Wilmington, NC.